Animals Have Sex

Fossil evidence found from the Stenian Period suggests that sexual reproduction was occurring on Earth just over 1 billion years ago. All species of mammals reproduce sexually. Horses are born with either a vagina or a penis, depending on if they're female or male, and this vagina or penis can be used by this individual horse later in life to carry out sexual reproduction.
It is a completely factual statement to say that humans aren't the only species on the planet who have sex.
Humans didn't use our big enlightened brains to "invent" penetrative sexual intercourse.
Sexual reproduction has existed for a very long time before us.
Sex organs in animals come in a very large variety of shapes, sizes, and uses. Echidna penises have four heads, rhino penises bend backwards, and some species of ducks have a penis that corkscrews. A blue whale penis is eight to ten feet long! A hamster penis is about a centimeter long. An argonaut octopus is able to detach his penis and hand it to a mate for reproduction.
As you can see, some of these organs and rituals happen to be pretty different to how humans ordinarily do it. But, just like some animal sexuality happens to be very different from humans, there is also some animal sexuality that happens to be very similar to humans, in the grand scheme of things. Dog penises range in size, but are generally about .5x to 2x as big as human penises, with plenty in the middle of that range who are directly on-par with human penis sizes. A dog penis works by receiving stimulation until it causes his body to ejaculate semen. To have sex, a male dog will put his penis in a female dog's vagina and then ejaculate that semen into the female dog's reproductive organs.
So with all of that said, it's actually hilarious to see virgins on the internet kicking and screaming about how animals are being abused by being exposed to the idea of sex. Sex and animals are not like vampires and sunlight. They do it, and they understand it as much as they care to.
Animals live lives outside of sex too, and are exposed to all of the pleasures and risks that come with going about your day. I can take my dog on a car ride to the dog park--exciting for both of us! There is a risk that we'll get in a car crash on the way and he will die. There is a risk that there will be an aggressive dog at the park who will bite him, and he'll receive a serious injury. There is a risk that he might catch a disease from splashing through a mud puddle. More than likely though, we will have a safe drive to the park, during which he will be excited and wagging and sniffing out the window. More than likely, the other dogs at the park will be normally socialized dogs, and all of them will run around together living their best dog lives. More than likely, him running through the mud puddle will be a fun experience and will cool his paws off a little. The risks do exist, but he is more than happy to ignore those in the name of getting to do something that brings him pleasure and excitement.
And on some level, this is a decision that we both make. I would gladly drive him to the park, but would not put him in the passenger seat at a monster truck rally. I would generally not let him eat road kill that has flies all over it, even as he puts all of his strength into pulling the leash in that direction, but I would let him eat some sliced deli meat that I got just for him and keep refrigerated, because even as much as he would get pleasure out of eating both of these things, I as a human have more context about what is very safe for him and what might not be as safe. I would insist on trimming his nails if he needed it so that they don't get so long he can't walk properly; even if he indicates to me that he believes this nail trimming is far too dangerous and we shouldn't risk it, I will promise him it's fine, but if he'd prefer to compromise we can do just a few for now and then go play.
But, if I lubricate my hand and offer it out for him to stimulate his penis against if he would like to, now all of a sudden pearl-clutching puritans would have you believe it's topsy turvy land, he doesn't understand this confusing "pleasure" thing at all. Me and him are suddenly complete strangers who have never communicated with each other about anything before and probably wouldn't know how to say "yes please" or "no thank you,". He feels oh-so abused by the fact that I held my hand in place nearby him and he chose to get frisky with it. Yeah, I'm sure.
I'm sure he would feel that he could never interact safely with humans again for getting a handjob and should just be put down, but if he knew that his semen was being collected (by handjob) to artificially put into another dog for dog breeding, then he would actually know that it was no big deal and he would go on with his day wagging. I'm sure if it weren't for these meddling humans, we would never see animals in nature having homosexual sex, sex outside of their species, or engaging in masturbation, because those things might imply that animals haven't been reading their biology textbooks that insist to them they're only supposed to do things for procreation otherwise it makes humans feel funny. I'm sure that mares, prior to sex, carefully inspect their partner's equipment to make sure it's all within standard measurements, because a penis that was a quarter the size of what they're used to would... really... definitely... automatically harm them... somehow...
Animals have sex. And if you want to argue otherwise, I think you need to watch more nature documentaries.
Article written by Alissa Dogchurch (August 2023)
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