Zooey Politics

“I don’t see anyone on the right pushing for sex with animals.”

-Mindy Robinson (@iheartmindy)

The other day a somewhat notable conservative show host on Twitter was replying negatively to an article we published. Among other things, she said the above quote. And it got me thinking. I know there are right wing zoos. They certainly have made themselves vocal enough. The fact that right wing zoos exist isn’t the interesting part. The part that was interesting to me was that this conservative person saw zoosexuality as some kind of leftist movement. Something that came specifically from a certain kind of politics getting enough power.

The reason I found this so funny is because we get so much pushback from the typical “left” too. When we published our article comparing the queer movement and the zoo movement, plenty of trans people with rainbow flags who had BLM in their profile accused us of being a right wing psy-op, and claiming that the LGBTQ, and by extension the whole left party wanted nothing to do with us.

I’m sure to those people, they may even think of us as “right wing.” Just think about it. The average right wing voter tends to live in more rural areas, away from cities and other people. They might even own a farm and breed animals. In fact, 75% of the states where bestiality is legal tend to go red. So I can absolutely see how people could see zoos as a typically right wing thing too.

This puts us in kind of an interesting position. On one hand, it sucks to not have a base of support. On the other hand, in a world where literally everything is either a left wing or right wing issue, we’re just an issue.

To the right, we’re disliked for the same reason they tend to hate most groups. We’re a minority sexuality. We’re perverse. We go against the teachings of the Bible. Our existence is wrong because we’re not like them. This stance makes sense to me. Not in a “I agree with this position” way, but at least they’re morally consistant. I can understand why they’d think we’re a movement spawned from the left. If you think two men or two women shouldn’t be able to have a quick smoochie, adopt a kid, and take magic gay trips to wherever it is the gays go, it makes sense that you think a human and animal couldn’t make it work either.

The left’s disdain for us is a little bit more complicated. The left tends to be the party of progressives. Most minority rights came from people on the left fighting for them. In fact, the vast majority of zoos tend to skew left leaning themselves, a stat less surprising when you consider how many LGBT zoos there are out there. And yet, most left activists are more than happy to judge us based on the same misguided stereotypes that kept other groups down for years.

There’s a lot of reasons why leftists might dislike zoos. Most of it just comes down to a lack of care. But I think a serious angle to consider is looking at the fights they’ve already won. For so long, the right wing argued against gay marriage by comparing them to zoos, and the left pushed themselves away from the idea. The right said “first gays, next animals,” and the left instinctively said “that’s stupid. We don’t want to have sex with animals!” But that left us as this weird boogeyman for both groups. To the right we’re one of the final stages of degeneracy. A total surrender to our carnal instincts. And to the left we’re a shadow in their wake, something they’re scared to become because it proves every bad thing about them.

But what does that mean for us? We’re stranded in the center of everything politically, but does that matter? In my opinion, not really.

Did you know that for a long time, democrats also opposed gay marriage? Not that long ago even. If you’re reading this article, chances are that while you were alive a prominent left wing politician said that being gay was a bad thing. In 2016, Hillary Clinton’s running mate was a man named Tim Kaine. By all accounts he was a cool hip progressive. He loved the gays, supported trans people, etc. But in 2005 he publically said he was against gay marriage, and it took until 2012 for him to change his mind.

Even good ol’ Joey Biden, head of the lefties, has had his fair share of homophobia. In the 1980s he said homosexuals shouldn’t be given security clearance because they might be a “risk.” In 1992 he voted against giving cohabitating gay partners the same rights as straight ones. In 1993 he voted in favor of the military’s “Dont Ask Don’t Tell” policy. Even up to 2008 he was still pretty homophobic, claiming that both himself and Barack Obama were against allowing two same sex partners to be married. It was only in 2012 that he finally relented and said it was okay to be gay.

My point here is this. For a long time, being gay was against not just right wing policy, but left wing as well. Much like us, being gay was just an issue, regardless of who you asked. But with time, effort, and a whole lot of passion, eventually people started changing their minds. And probably it will be more left leaning people that are willing to have a conversation. But to claim that zoosexuality currently exists because the left wing party is getting too powerful is a hilariously ignorant statement.

Or who knows. Maybe Trump is going to come out and claim that relationships with dogs are okay so long as it’s a man and a woman. Maybe Elon is finally going to come out as a zoo. Sexuality doesn’t belong to any one party or another. One party just chooses (slowly) to accept, while the other drags their feet in the mud.

Anyway, join me in voting Toggle in the 2024 American Presidential election! See you in the whitehouse fellow zoos!

Article written by Tarro (October 2023)

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