I want more zoos.
I want the cool barista at my local coffee shop to have a zoo pride flag pin right next to the rainbow flag on their beanie. I want them to give my partner lots of pets and treats any time we come in. I want to run into them at the dog park sometimes with their partner, and we can shoot the shit while our canine companions run around and play. I want to see them at local queer meetups talking about their own experience being a zoo, and offering their support to others going through it.
I want the restaurant owner down the road to be a zoo. I want them to open up a restaurant for both humans and animals alike, where you can bring your four legged friend and have a date night. You order something for yourself, and instead of just giving your partner scraps, you can order a dish for them too, knowing full well that the chefs are aware of what different animals can and can't eat. And I want it to be not just for zoos, but for anyone that wants to treat the animals in their lives to a night on the town, even if it's just as friends.
I want to buy animal food made by companies owned by zoos. I want to know that there's love in the food that I'm serving my partner, made by a company that understands animals are more than just objects. I want high quality food I can be happy giving to my partner that isn't made by a corporation jacking up the prices as high as they can. I want to make a zoo rich enough to start a whole empire of animal foods and toys, that gets distributed and sold across the entire world.
I want zoo teachers, who are open about their sexuality in the classroom. Not graphically, obviously, but I want teachers who understand the struggle being in a sexual minority, and are able to empathize with students that might be having a hard time figuring it out. I want teachers who can teach an opt in zoo sex ed course, to ensure that people understand how to avoid hurting themselves or their partners while experimenting. I want teachers who sometimes bring their partners into the classroom just to say hi, and who proudly hang a zoo flag on the back wall.
I want zoo doctors, and zoo vets. I want to be able to have entirely open and honest conversation with our medical health professionals, so that I don't have to be afraid that trying to take care of myself and my partner is somehow going to make things worse. I want to be able to have a conversation with them about any sexual health questions I might have, alongside all the normal non-sexual health questions I have too. I don't want to feel like I need to hide anything from people who's job it is to take care of me and my partner.
I want zoo real estate agents, who wont ask weird questions when I say that me and my partner are looking to buy a house together. When I tell them that I'm a zoo, I want them to ask what species my partner is, and then have an idea of the kinds of things that will work well for us. I want them to know the kinds of environments that work well for my partner's species, as well as my personal needs. I want them to tell us about the local parks that are dog friendly, as well as maybe some of the things that would be smart to avoid. I want them to tell us about the super friendly dog down the road that we should definitely go say hi to once we're done moving in.
I want zoo influencers. I want to watch a vlog channel that's a human and an animal going on adventures together, fully open about the fact that they're more than just a human and an animal they own. I want to see zoo food reviews, toy reviews, shampoo reviews. Hell, I'd even settle for openly zoo content creators who talk about other things mostly, but are open about their sexuality. I want them to collaborate with non zoo creators just because they're fun and good at their job. I want to see a zoo in a Mr Beast challenge, or fighting in a Creator Clash, or doing interviews on Hot Ones.
I want media with openly zooey characters. I want to see my own experiences, desires and life reflected in the content I consume. I want zoo writers to write amazing games, TV shows or ovies featuring zoo characters played by zoo actors directed by zoo directors. I want rom coms about and dogs that fall in love in weird zany ways. I want tragedies about life and love gone too soon. I want buddy cop movies between an office worker and the top dog in the K9 unit. I want horror movies where at the end the killer was a cat the whole time.
I want zoo activists. Not just for zoo causes, but for all kinds of others causes too. I want to show the world that zoos have so much love and compassion for the people around them, and want to make the world a better place. I want to see people making waves in the fight for animal rights to have skin in the game, because they're fighting for the rights of people they love. I want them to fight against global warming because it's destroying biodiversity. To fight against war for all the animals that are killed. To fight poverty for all the animals that go hungry. I want them to love animals in a very openly romantic and/or sexual, and instead of being afraid of people's reactions, use their love to empower their struggles to make the world a better place.
I want a zoo president. I want the head of a country to run not necessarily on a zoo focused platform, but certainly one that keeps animals at the front. I want to have a first lady that neighs, barks, chitters, or whatever it is you do. And while we're at it, I want a first gentleman too! I want to see a zoosexual in a position where they can try and make real changes, as the head of state to a whole country. I want to live in a world where the fact that someone is dating an animal is a footnote compared to everything else, because it's just a normal thing some people are.
There are so many things I want for us as a community. There's a whole world I'm envisioning, and I want to create that world one block at a time. Which is why when a 12 year old tries to dunk on me on Twitter, or if trolls join my Discord server, it doesn't bother me at all. My goals are so much bigger than any of the small minded losers harassing people on the internet can ever even imagine.
I don't just want acceptance. I don't just want to have my love decriminalized. I want normalization. I want being a zoo to be not interesting at all. When you tell people you're a zoo, I want their reaction to be
And then have them not think about it again.
I want a world where we can all be happy. I want to build it together with all of you.
I know we can do it.
Article written by Tarro (November 2023)
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