Humans Can't Consent

Humans can't consent.
It's true. They can't. As someone who's only had sex with animals, I feel like it's my moral obligation to take a stand against this perverse human-sexualizing point of view. To even pretend that they can consent is blind-sighted. And yet, there's still plenty of "sapiophiles" out there pretending they can. These opportunists and fetishists like to close their eyes and pretend their relationships are okay, but any rational person clearly knows that it's nothing more than cope. If you reading this are someone who has a human "partner" I invite you to keep reading so I can shatter you out of this bitter mirage you seem to have created for yourself. I'll show you fully, without a shadow of a doubt, that human's absolutely in no way can consent to sex with other humans. Are you brave enough to confront your own mortal faults? Then let's begin.
Humans by their nature are easy to impair. They make decisions so frequently based on their emotional state, and those decisions often lead to regrettable outcomes for them in a future. Have you ever heard the term "hangry" before? This is a human term that combines the words "hungry" and "angry." It exists specifically because humans have a propensity to lash out at those around them when they haven't had enough sustenance. We're not talking about weeks or even days without food here either. A few extra hours and people will enter a state of additive rage. Or, how about this. Did you know that it's fairly common to hook up with other humans at funerals? There's a number of guesses about why this occurs, but the most common theory is that in situations that are sad and uncomfortable, humans will opt to escape via sex. But it doesn't even take a death to convince humans to get at it. In fact, plenty of people in relationships where they promise to only bed their significant other will still go out and have sex with other people. This could be because they're at the office and stressed, at the bar and a little tipsy, or really for any reason under the sun. 
My point is this. You can't have consent with coercion, and humans are constantly being coerced. Every little thing might be the thing that causes them to consent on one day and then not on the next. And is it really moral to sleep with someone who might regret it later? The most extreme example of this is obviously chemical impairment. If a person is drunk or high, they're the least ready to make a decision about whether or not they want to have sex. And yet, when we talk about the most common place to meet sexual partners it's in bars and clubs. Places where the whole point is to become impaired. But it doesn't even need to be something that severe. A human may "choose" to engage in sex for reasons as mundane as not getting a good sleep the night before and so therefore they are too tired to make good decisions. Sure, you could maybe argue that a human in a perfect state with no current mental filters could consent, but how often is that the case? And how would you, a person outside of their experience, even know that that's the case? It might be hard to tell, or even more nefariously, they could lie. 
Speaking of lying, let's talk about communication. When the highest level interrogators and negotiators talk about the most effective ways to really know what someone is saying, you know what they're referring to? It's not silly verbal human language, it's body language. Body language is objectively more useful when it comes to understanding what someone really means. And here's why. Humans lie. In fact, many of them do it all the time. To the extent that a common joke in straight circles is that women in relationships will say "I'm fine" when men ask them if there's something wrong, and then blame the man later for not uncovering their lie. Lying is a cultural staple for pretty much every culture all over the world. And as such, how can humans ever be trusted to consent? And if you can't think of why humans might lie about wanting sex, you don't know humans.
You could ask the other person "hello do you want to do some sex" and they might say "yes of course I do," but maybe they're getting paid and don't really want to. Maybe their partner cheated and they're mostly just doing it out of spite. Maybe someone has their best friend held hostage and will only release them if they hook up with you. Sure that last situation might be improbable, but the point is, there's no way to know for sure. In the American legal system, proof is required beyond a shadow of a doubt. I believe consent should be held to the same standard. 
And lies aren't the only way that communication is fallible. There's also miscommunication! If you say to someone "get that bread," are they supposed to pick up a loaf from the store, or make a bunch of money? People say "what's up dog" to people that are clearly not dogs. If I say "wanna come back to my place and smash?" the other person may think it's for a sexual encounter while I may have invited them to play Super Smash Bros. Even if you do communicate, there's no escaping the possibility of miscommunication. Therefore, it's impossible to know what anyone is really saying. Therefore, humans aren't able to consent. 
Did you know, according to the US Society of Cardiology, approximately fifty thousand people die directly from sex per year? I'm serious, did you know that? Because informed consent requires a knowledge of all the risks going into the action, and death is a risk if I ever heard of one. That means that if you've ever engaged in human on human sex before you admit that you did so without consent. Checkmate Sapiophiles! And that's just talking about cardiovascular issues. Another estimated 750,000 die per year from sexually transmitted infections. And that's not even talking about pregnancies! Sure we have tools to limit that kind of thing. But no method is 100% perfect. Did you know half of all pregnancies are unwanted? That's 121 million pregnancies. In a world where abortion access is becoming more and more limited, you better be having a serious conversation with your opposite sex partners before you hook up about what to do if suddenly you have a child together. If you don't can you really say you both consent to the action, and fully understand the risks? And when, as we've been over already, humans are able to lie, you have to ask yourself, given the number of things that have the capacity to go wrong, realistically it's impossible for you to know all the risks involved in sex. And that's even assuming that most humans care about those potential risks. They certainly don't seem to. I bet most humans couldn't even name every STI, their transmission vectors, and the symptoms to watch out for. At this point I think it's important to ask. Are YOU too dumb to consent?
I'm serious. All of that above is a lot to keep in mind. You need to be aware of all the potential problems, keep in mind your "partner's" mental state and condition, deduce whether or not they're impaired or otherwise motivated, and still actually perform the action in a way that's satisfactory to both parties. But here's the thing. While you're focused on all that, do you think you still would have the mental capacity to know if someone was trying to coerce you? How smart are you really? Sure, you probably feel pretty smart, but have you ever been tricked into buying something you didn't want, convinced to do something you didn't want to do? In the US, 1 in 10 people will fall for a scam every year. It could be you. Consider this. Of everyone reading this, half of of the people will be smarter than the average reader, but half will be dumber. We live in a world where there is a natural intellectual advantage that some humans have over others, and it's impossible to remedy that. We simply have to accept that some people are always going to be more able to convince others into having sex, and others are always going to be more willing to to say yes. This is an issue because it leads to exploitation.
Sex between two people may "look" willing, but if I were to go to a bar and unlock my full charismatic power I'm sure I could convince someone who did not go there to have sex to end up having sex. Is that moral because they "say" yes, or is it abuse because I edged them into saying yes? I would argue the latter. There's too big of an intellectual gap between different humans for them to ever realistically agree to sex with one another.
No matter which way you slice it, the answer is clear. There is no way that humans can consent. Which is why the only sexual relationships people should be having is with animals. The way that God intended. You know who you can count on to pretty much never be drunk or high? Animals. Sure, there are some out there that may partake, but they don't tend to be the ones that people are looking to mate with, and you certainly aren't meeting them at the bar. Not only that, but I certainly haven't seen any evidence to suggest that animals are more likely to have sex in times of hardship where it could be seen as exploitative. You know what else animals don't do? Lie. When you're hooking up with an animal partner, you never need to worry that they have an ulterior motive, or that they secretly don't want to be doing this. If they don't want to, they'll tell you. And they'll do so with an expert level of communication in the form of body language. The language that, as I'll remind you once again, is deemed most important when it comes to really understanding what someone is saying. Or how about this? Did you know that there are only 10 known diseases that are transmitted by close contact with animals, but there are more than 20 different kinds of human to human STIs? Sure sounds like sex with animals is a whole lot less risky than with humans. For both parties. Plus, you can lay with your animal partner for the rest of time and the chances of you popping out a litter is pretty close to zero, no protection required. Sex with animals is just simpler. There's much less to worry about, and so you can focus more on the moment. There's less room for exploitation because everyone's intentions are much more clear and easy to understand. 
When it comes down to it, it's very easy to understand all the different ways that animals have the capacity to consent. But I sure hope that by reading this article you've come to understand common sense. 
Humans can't consent. 
Article written by Tarro (September 2023) 
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