The Top Ten Most Fuckable Pokemon That Aren't Anthro Or Too Popular

During the last episode of Zoo And Me I foolishly said that I’d write an article for this magazine. Do I regret it? A little bit, but here we are! In that episode we brainstormed some ideas for what I could write, and of course, it had to be something Pokémon related, probably one of the most zooey franchises out there. But just compiling a list of the most beloved Pokémon would be lame, as too many of them are too humanoid! And just going with the obvious choices would also be boring, so I went with Pokémon that don’t have a million drawings on e621.

So, are you a fan of the Pokémon universe and find yourself drawn to the more aesthetically pleasing creatures? Well, you’re in luck! Because I have compiled the most definitive list of the top 10 most fuckable Pokémon that aren’t anthro or too popular.

No. 10: Zangoose

Honestly, I have no idea what a mongoose is, but if this is what they look like, they are cool as hell. The sleek form of Zangoose and their beautiful fur pattern have definitely won me over. Despite not usually gravitating towards an “edgy” aesthetic, Zangoose pulls it off flawlessly. Also, the rivalry Zangeese have with Seviper is just straight-up adorable. Their quick and agile movements only add to the allure, making Zangoose a favorite among those who appreciate speed and agility!

No. 9: Serperior

I know I had to include at least one serpent, so here’s Serperior. If you know me, you know I like being smug! And I also like characters that act that way, so I was immediately drawn to Serperior’s confident demeanor. With their long, slender body and piercing green eyes, Serperior is a true vision of beauty. Serperior is one of the most graceful and powerful Pokémon of Gen 5, if not the entire franchise, that’s why I’ll always hold a special place in my heart for this Pokémon.

No. 8: Passimian

This fighting-type Pokémon is not only strong but also good-looking, with bright orange eyes and a cute little uh coconut(?) hat. The color palette Game Freak chose for this Pokémon is just perfect so pleasing to the eyes; I could just stare at them for hours! I recall the moment I first laid eyes on Passimian back in 2016 - I was instantly smitten and have had a bit of a crush ever since hehe. (You COULD consider this Pokémon anthro, but you wouldn’t consider a lemur human, right?)

No. 7: Tauros

This wild bovine Pokémon is a rugged beauty, with their powerful horns and tough exterior. Their raw power but still smoochable face is rather refreshing, since most Pokémon tend to be more cute-looking than this! Their untamed spirit makes them a favorite among those who appreciate a bit of danger in their love life.

No. 6: Lapras

This is a bit of exception for this list, since Lapras is a bit of a fan favorite, being the only Pokémon in X and Y to get their own model for the swimming animation when using the HM Surf. With their elegant shell and peaceful aura, they just had to make this list. Sometimes you have to appreciate the softer sides of beauty!

No. 5: Braviary

At last, the first bird on this list, Braviary, takes center stage! Braviary is a true standout with their red, white, and blue feathers. Their muscular build and powerful wings make Braviary a real head-turner. Also, look at that screenshot from the anime, N has to be the zooiest Pokémon character! Who wouldn’t want to spoon with Braviary…

No. 4: Zebstrika

With such a bold appearance and fierce-looking eyes, this pokémon had to make this list. Ever since I got my hands on Pokémon white in the early 2010s, I’ve been a fan of this one. And with such an energetic and confident personality, this Pokémon gets some more extra points in my book.

No. 3: Boltund

This electric dog Pokémon may have flown under the radar for many, as it doesn’t even appear in the anime, so no pretty screenshot for you, but it still deserves some recognition! Oh, and it’s the first canine of this list. But for real, this electric dog Pokémon is a real showstopper, with bright yellow fur and an energetic aura. A playful and enthusiastic nature only adds to the charm.

No. 2: Mightyena

Mightyena is just beautiful, probably my favorite Pokémon from the third generation of Pokémon games! Their dark fur and powerful build just exudes a dangerous beauty, it’s hard to put into words! Their mysterious and brooding appearance makes me want to kiss them. (Though to be fair, I’d kiss most canines.)

No. 1: Pidgeot

Yes, my number one is not a dog! Pidgeot has a sleek and aerodynamic body with striking plumage. Their wingspan is massive, allowing them to soar through the sky with ease. The beautiful mix of red, orange, and brown makes them have a sort of warm look which contrasts so well with the paleness of the legs and underside of the wings. I could fawn over this design forever! Pidgeot’s face is also soo well-designed, with a sharp beak and piercing eyes that give them an intimidating appearance. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

Uh so yeah, in conclusion, I have successfully presented my top 10 most fuckable Pokémon that aren’t anthro or too popular. From Zangoose to Pidgeot, they all have their unique and attractive features. Whether you’re a fan of speed, danger, softness, or even just smoochable faces, I hope this list included at least some of your favorites!

Article written by Akito (February 2022)

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Thanks for 69 articles, everyone!

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