Secret Zoo Agenda April Report DO NOT PUBLISH

April 7, 2024

SECRET - This report is made for only the eyes of Zoosexual Pride Project (ZPP) showrunners. ZPP to be included this month are: Zooier Than Thou, Zoo & Me, Zany Zoo Memes, Zoo Community, Zoocadia, and Zooey Dot Pub.

Authored by: Dogchurch.

Reviewed by: Tarro.

Summary: The groundwork for the online zoo pride community is incredibly strong, and only proving its resilience more and more. Our analysis is that breaking in to the mainstream news bubble is almost an inevitability within the next year, and various pride projects such as the Zooey Dot Pub Discord and the Zooier Than Thou podcast will see broadcast news coverage. We are very well positioned to receive this attention, and this attention will only spread awareness to even more zoos who weren’t aware there was so much going on.

Full report:

The ability for closeted zoos to access resources to help them feel better about themselves is at an all time high. From podcasts to conversational platforms, zoos who may not yet have become a part of the community themselves are able to improve their self esteem, learn how to lead ethical lives regarding non humans, and realize that they are truly not alone.

In the face of growing visibility, the community has been faced by loud detractors, and has not been hindered by them. Far from it, anti-zoos doing their kicking and screaming are usually laughed at by zoos, who then continue about their day, conversing with other zoos and making zoo memes and taking care of our animal companions, if any. In fact, we are even seeing, by this point, a notable uptick in influencers who may be zoo or may not have a horse in this race at all, but who are willing to say, even if in careful terms, that zoophilia is interesting and deserves to be examined more maturely than it has been by internet culture at large. People are talking about us.

We see a pattern, by now, of some event happening that draws greater attention to the zoo community. Some quote-retweet from a very large account, some internet celebrity touching on the topic in some way: at least every month, the community sees a swell of attention. While I am not currently aware of any community podcasts having been featured on Fox or CNN, we are indeed on the radar of many online news content creators. And, as TV news increasingly becomes the “what happened on the internet today” channel, we seem more likely than not to be what happened on the internet today, one of these days.

Some of us eagerly await being able to send the screen recording to family and friends. It will be a really, really fun day. Whereas before someone might have had to seek out niche online spaces to find that other zoos existed, on that day those zoos will be able to overhear that those spaces exist when someone else has their usual news station on in the other room. And, hey, it's anyone's speculation, but we feel that the number of people whose ears will be burning is very, very, very statistically significant. We hope that the day will not be far away, when they know that others are like them.

Moving on from the Big Important Serious Stuff (BISS), we move on to some smaller, or at least, more day to day matters. Matters of interest.

Zooey Dot Pub is operating within normal parameters. We do wish to be better excelling in our goal of publishing guest pieces more frequently, but all the same, the team foresees no issue continuing production at a rate of two articles per week, some in-house, some guest. The Discord is seeing growth month over month, recently hitting 1,500 members. All in all, the Zooey Dot Pub sphere remains a lively ecosystem for zoos.

Zooey Dot Pub’s Informants AKA “Researchers” (IAKA”R”) have been letting us know of some upcoming zoo projects coming through the pipeline. As they are Top Secret they can not be discussed in specificity in this report. This is only to say, a variety of things are ahead, some that are just a bit of fun novelty for zoos to play around with, and others that perhaps will serve zoos in more important ways. Talented zooey hands have been keeping very busy, teeheehee.

The Zooey Dot Pub animal staff have been keeping happy and healthy. The alpacas who recently joined have settled in just fine, at first we weren’t sure we would know how to feed them and stuff like that, but now that they’ve been here a month it feels like we’ve taken care of nineteen alpacas all our lives. Quincy, the little guy German Shepherd, has been a champ about getting his teeth brushed as we’ve been making sure to establish good habits like that with him. The other eleven dogs are good too, and getting plenty of attention as we fawn over them to find important dog details to put in the articles, little remarks on the swirls of their curly coat or the way they wag and seem to smile but with their ears and eyes when you say a little thing to them that they appreciate.

All in all, as we look back on it from the beginnings of April, March was a good month for zooey visibility, zooey pride, zooey defiance, zooey kissing animals, zooey projects, and the zooey community all around. Here’s to continuing the upward trend!