Friends are something you need in life. They are there when you feel bad. You laugh with them or cry with them. They give you security, help you in difficult situations.
I am sure that most people cannot imagine their life without their friends. But not only do friends come, sometimes they also go. And unfortunately, being a zoo can contribute to that.
It’s an experience I wouldn’t wish to any zoo out there. But this will happen sooner or later and I also had to experience this.
And just because it was so hard for me to deal with it in the beginning, I am writing this article.
I want to give you advice how to deal with such situations well. And how you can manage to form confident bonds despite your own sexuality.
1. Be Sad
Okay, surely you might be thinking to yourself, “How is being sad going to help me?”
Let me explain.
Sadness is one of the feelings that will occur when you lose a loved one. You might also feel things like anger, despair and much more.
In these situations, the most important thing to do first is not to suppress these feelings as most might do.
Allow these feelings and meet them with understanding.
Because by suppressing your emotions, they build up much more, which can cause more suffering in the long run than if you let your feelings run free.
Only by acknowledging your feelings will you be able to process them well.
And I speak from experience.
2. Take time for yourself
It is important that you take good care of yourself despite your negative emotions. Especially in such a difficult time.
Listen to your favorite music, make yourself some tea or something good to eat, don’t forget your hygiene and so on.
I know that this is very difficult for some. However, it is important for me to talk about it as well.
You deserve care, even from yourself.
3. A farewell letter
One thing that has also helped me is writing a letter to the person who hurt me.
However, this letter is not sent, it is just for you.
In this letter you can write down everything that is bothering you. You can tell how you feel and what you wish you had done. You can also let out all your anger. Everything is allowed.
At the end of the letter you can say goodbye to the person and leave behind everything that has happened.
If you are done, you can simply tear up the letter, burn it (please take care of your safety), or whatever. So long as you don’t mind it being read, you could even just drop it off in a mailbox with no address and no postage, just to really give you the feeling of sending it.
4. Do not isolate yourself
If you have been through this many times, you may give up hope and isolate yourself from others.
I also had to go through this several times.
However, this is not a thing that will end well.
The loneliness for which we ourselves provide creates only more suffering. And closing ourselves off completely will also make it harder to deal with such setbacks.
Which then makes for more isolation and makes it a vicious cycle.
As for this topic, to be honest I don’t have any safe advice now.
As I am still struggling with it myself.
However, I can say this:
There are so many people out there. Not every one of them will hate you.
I haven’t always had the best experiences with people, however, I know that there are good people in this world.
Without them, I wouldn’t even be here and I wouldn’t be able to write this article.
And if you’re having trouble connecting with people, don’t forget that the zoo community is huge, and that there are always people you can reach out to that are going to understand what you’re going through, who have probably experienced these same issues.
I know that this is not a lot of advice, however, I found this important enough to write down here.
I wish very much that I could help you with it maybe.
And never forget: There is always someone who will stand by your side. There is always someone you can really trust.
Article written by Amira (March 2023)
Find her at https://twitter.com/AyanaUchiha555
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